Crystal brown eyes

It was the first time that I looked at someone straight in the eye. At first I thought that it was going to be uncomfortable, but as I starred at it a little longer, I fell madly, deeply in love in his eyes. It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my entire life, and I would never forget that moment. The very moment that I looked deeply into his eyes, I felt so safe, so sure and never regretting anything at that time.

As I was starring into those beautiful eyes, I was surprised to see, that those eyes was starring back at mine. That was the first time I felt that the world has stopped spinning, time has paused just for us to cherish the moment.

As I was looking into those beautiful, gentle, soothing, honest and very sincere eyes, he smiled at me and it was like he was talking to me through his eyes and his smile. There were no lies in his eyes; it was very honest and true. Even in every angle as you look at it, every bit of it you can sense that nothing is lying with his eyes.

Looking deeply into those eyes was like seeing who he really is on the inside, it was like knowing his true soul, and not afraid to show me everything that is in him, he has nothing to hide. He was letting me see who he really is. He was very transparent, shinning and sparkling, just like a crystal, but just as precious as a diamond that is very hard to break.

I guess after all this, I believe in the saying that you can see a man’s inner soul once you look at him in the eye. Eyes never lie, and once you look at it very sincerely you will surely know what is in that person’s heart, mind and soul and it is very precious, elegant and very special.

The eyes are very honest and true and are never hiding anything. Just like a precious gem, like a crystal or a diamond you can see through it very clearly, and just like a diamond, it would last for a lifetime, no, I would say, even forever.


Author: anonymous

the point of no return

Since I was a kid, God has been introduced to me by my parents at a very young age. My parents had been in the church since they were in their campus days. So it simply means that I’ve been in a christian church since I was born, but of course I wasn’t born a Christian, because I still haven’t accept Jesus in my heart while I was still in the womb of my mom. Anyway, I’ve been in the church life since I can even remember. I attended kids’ church back at U-belt—I can still remember my teachers back then. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was 7yrs. Old; I remember it was an Asian Invasion. Well at some point I really do know what I decided that day, it’s what my parents have been telling me for a long time and I finally decided to do it. It’s really great how my parents never forced me when I was a kid to make that kind of decision, instead they wanted me to figure it out for myself. Since that day, I already gave my life to Christ, made Him as my Lord and Savior, and also decided to live to glorify His name.

When I reached the age of ten, I was in 5^th grade, finally I stayed at one school for 4yrs. I had lots of friends, in and out of school. That time I was the kind of kid that thinks mature for her/his age. My mind was opened with the whole world, so certainly I know what’s going on around me, even in the secular world that is. My parents at that time, was always busy at work and also with the ministry. So there was a season in where our routine as a family was, I wake up in the morning to go to school, both of them are still tired from work so it’s either my mom or my dad who would go out of bed to assist me in the morning then I would go to school and after I left for school, they would go to work. When I go home from school no one was home except for me who would be going in, I would do my homework and review lessons then I would hang out with my friends. When night comes I’m still out of the house even though I’m not allowed to be out after sun down, but sad to say I was breaking the rules. There are a lot of times that I would eat dinner by myself, well because I don’t have any brothers and sisters and we certainly don’t have a maid at home, I never really liked having maids it’s because I like my mom to assist me with everything. Sometimes I eat dinner at my best friend’s house, fortunately her house is just about 30 steps from our house so it’s very comforting. So after my parents arrive from work I would hang out with them for ten minutes then go upstairs and get ready for bed and school for the next day.

It was a pretty lame routine I guess, but that was my life, during my adolescence and puberty stage. I am not blaming my parents here, I understand why that happens and why they do that, and that is because they have to work hard for us to survive another day and for me to go to school everyday. But during those times that my parents weren’t around, I was living the double life, and I feel ashamed of it. Double life, because during weekdays I am at my own self and doing my own thing at my own terms, and during weekends I was this kind of girl who goes to church, tries to have a halo on her head, tries to keep nice (and civilized), the kid who is really active at kids church and memorizes every memory verses and the whole lesson every week, so simply the double life.

I’m kind of like getting used to it, and it wasn’t that hard to live a double life, I mean you’re like in those movies in where you hide your true identity for you to live this other life. And believe me I stayed in that double life for almost 4yrs. I mean I cannot imagine how I endured it for that long. I was so ashamed for all the things that I did, especially my dad was a pastor during those times, and there was a lot of pressure along the way because of that. I mean I cannot put my father in jeopardy because of the silly things that I did. I was so ashamed.

It was my choice to live that kind of life. Sadly on that kind of life, it was the life in where I was running away, running away and not even knowing that I was, running away and don’t even know myself anymore. I don’t even know who or what I’ve become. Most certainly I was running away from God and His destiny upon my life. I wasn’t afraid, but I was beautifully distracted to the things that kept me from going back to God. It was a dark life, but the way that I look at it before was, there was someone who is shedding me some light, at some point I cannot see anymore where I’m going but still there was this light that kept me going, the light that lead me back to God. It was only a matter of 4yrs measure time before I realized that, that light was God wanting to lead me back. So when did I realized that I’ve gone too far enough?

I can still remember that day; I was in 2^nd year high school. I went to a party with my friends at school. The party was at the house of one of our classmates. I was the last to arrive at the place, so I really have no idea what was going on. As I went up to the room where the real party was, two of my guy classmates went out and decided to go home, but before they went on their way, they tried to stop me from going into the room and I didn’t understand why, so I just ignored them and told them to go on their ways and I’ll go inside the room. I can still remember what they said to me, “tisay wag ka na tumuloy baka kung ano lang mangyare sayo, di kame nagbibiro”. I never believed them because they’re the kind of guys who treats everything as a joke during class time so I never believed them. Plus they call me not by my name but by their a.k.a on me and that is “tisay”. I still went despite of the warning that they gave me.

Once I got in the room, I saw that nothing was wrong except for the people who are inside that room. Then something happened, a game was played by eight people and that includes me, there were 4 girls and 4 boys. Suddenly, they uttered the words “let the games begin!!” It was actually a much known game by everyone and it’s not that complicated when it comes to the rules of the game, it was a “spin the bottle”. They made me participate the game without explaining the complications behind it, it wasn’t a simple game played by everyone, but it was the game that none of us should even play. I mean I know that a lot of people knows and plays that game, but not with the rules that was in our own game that night. They made their own rules by it, and the rules and the game itself is not meant for students like me or us! So I just went with the flow and played the whole game with them, every bit of it I played.

At some point I was so scared for what happened back there, but it made me wake up and realize that I’ve gone too far enough. I was so scared, it’s because one little thing leads to another then another then another, it’s like in the preaching of “chain reaction”, sunod-sunod na ang magiging results, you can’t stop it anymore because everything is already falling, falling in the wrong place. Right at that moment I became so afraid of what would take place after everything that had happened.

That night was actually a Friday so after I got out from the party, I went for a walk, as I was walking my tears are starting to well up from my eyes, everything at my sight that time was a blur. I cried myself out as I was walking down the street, and I know that a lot of people are looking at me. But I can’t help it; I was so scared for what happened. Then I remembered that it was a Friday and there was a youth service that night, so immediately I ran and went to the center. My friend saw me as I walked in, and my friend just noticed that my eyes are bloated, so my friend asked me what was wrong but still I wasn’t at a great consciousness at that time, so I didn’t respond. Every one of my friends that night was asking me what was wrong, but I never had the nerves to tell them what actually happened.

Then the preaching that time was like a sword that pierced through me, it was about running away, running away from God and from the things that God wants for you, and of course those things are just the best. I cannot remember exactly what the main point was, but I knew that God was finally talking to me that very night. It was a big breakthrough for me that night, and those were the moments in where everything just flashed back at me. Then God showed me this other picture, it was a picture of me living my life to the fullest, living for God, living to serve Him. It was a picture in where it feels like you’re living the life that God wants for you, and it was a very beautiful picture.

Right then I realized that God is speaking to me. He wants me to fulfill that life, that very beautiful and feel perfect life with Him, but in order for me to do that, I must first come back to Him and never let go. When you think of it in words, it really sounds easy, but still at those times I was so ashamed, but God told me one more thing, and that is “He loves me and He wants me to be with Him, I’m important to Him, and once He forgave me for what I did it’s nothing to Him anymore.” It’s like He already forgot about it. I’m His daughter and His princess; He is my Father, my King, my very best friend, my Lord and my Savior. That night it’s like God broke the chains inside me.

The words that I uttered after that night was, I am in a place in where, I am in a POINT OF NO RETURN, because I would never want to go back to kind of life that I have before, the kind of life without Jesus. Now I have chosen the life that is with God, I have chosen to be with God for the rest of my life, and I would never trade it for anything. It’s like God saved my life twice, and for that, it only proves one thing. That no matter who you are, no matter what you are and no matter where you’re from, you are important to God. He would do anything just for you to turn around and look at Him and CHOOSE Him. For God, you choosing Him are already very fulfilling for His heart, and that is because He loves you so much, and all He wanted is to be with you. Can you imagine that? Someone who really wants you, who really wants to be with you and will always, be there for you. Once you came to know who God really is in your life, and once you came to know how He truly loves you then you would never want to go back, you would never want to return to where you were before, instead, you would be in a place in where, you are in a POINT OF NO RETURN, and that is because of Jesus.