Well I'm back here at manila. it's been a really fast visit and vacation at my Grandparent's house back at Olongapo City. As i have said in my last few blogs that the reason why i went for a very all of a sudden visit, is because i want to run away from something etc. i have lot's of reasons actually; well i have already told it before and i just don't want to repeat it again. pretty as it sounds i'm kind of scared with what the people would ask me, about the reason of my runaway scheme. i'm scared on what they would think or what they would comment once they've come to know the real reason, or what would be their reaction on the said matter.
Before i left the house at my grandparent's, my uncle asked me "why did you visit here all of a sudden? are you hiding from someone back there at Manila?", then i quickly reacted and laughed hysterically and answered him, "why would i hide from someone?, i didn't do anything wrong.." after that my uncle just smiled and asked me "is it a WHO?" then i just really laughed out loud! as loud as i can and take note that was like 7:30 in the morning, then i just quickly said in a whisper mode.. "kind of.." well i didn't actually knew if he heard it, but at least he already dropped the issue once i became silent.
After that i just came to realize.. Wait! I'm gonna be back! then i asked myself, am i already alright about all things? am i already-ready to be back at my old life. then i took a moment at my room and just started to weigh things a little bit. i mean i told you sometimes i really get so attached on what's happening with me. then all of a sudden it just came to me that perhaps i can fight it this time, and this time i don't need to run away for long. then it was like my whole life flashed back within my eyes, and i saw all the fun moments that I've had, it's like i still have a lot of things that i can be happy and delighted about. *hey i'm not trying to get a scheme of suicide here ok?*-- i mean if i would just think about it, there's still a lot ahead of us, and we wouldn't really skip the times in where, we're really gonna be soooo down with ourselves and it's just part of life. life would be boring without those things that's gonna give you a reason to really push harder in life! and gonna give a reason to give up, but that's the time in where you're really gonna take the challenge. God wouldn't want something bad for us! i mean He loves us more than anything else!
You know what sometimes in life, God would really allow challenges to be brought up on you, and He only allows it because He knows that in the end you're gonna learn something really good, different, new and all sorts of stuff, He knows that in the end you're gonna get something good. plus take note God wouldn't allow it, if He knows that we can't handle it with ourselves. but sometimes you really have to take heart, you still need God of course, you can't just do it on your own, I'm telling you you can't do it on your own but only with God. you got to be dependent on Him, but of course you've got to move your own feet. i mean if you just let God really hold you and take care of you, believe me you wouldn't be lost even if you're in the middle of nowhere. i mean i really hope that you're getting the main point here. it shouldn't be always about you but, it has to be always about God.
That's one of the biggest things that I've learned during my runaway scheme. even though a lot of people have already told me about this stuff, I've only really applied it this time. and it really feels good. felling so safe and really secured with God is probably one of the best things that i have learned in this pretty life of mine, i mean, i already learned a lot, but that's gonna be another story..
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