What do you really feel when you’re like empty or blank paged? Well me I guess feeling the thing that you are all alone feeling so empty and doesn’t know what’s next or what will be the next thing that will pursue. I’m telling you I’m feeling that feeling right now. And it’s like I wanted to cry and cry but I just can’t. I wanted to crying myself out, but I just can’t and I don’t even know why. I wanted to soar high and fly away as far as I can or maybe even runaway just to feel free and feel enlightened. I just don’t know what is next for me in this life of mine. It’s like there’s a big question mark in me asking about everything that is happening in my life. I mean I just want something back and because of that everything just crushed down and fell apart on me. It’s like I have been ripped apart and I just can’t put back everything together again. I’m experiencing real chest pain.
How can you be someone for someone else? Or do you just be yourself. It just kills me every time I think of the real thing that is happening to me. it’s like I don’t know how to be happy anymore, I wanted to be happy but my heart just can’t, it’s been torn apart. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have never been like this before just because of things that I never expected that would happen. I fell like I’m just spinning and spinning and don’t know when to stop. Like running and running having fast breaths and I just don’t have something to go to, but I just kept running as fast as I could. I wanted to be invincible and fell free to see things on my own.
How am I going to figure this out? Is it just all based on reality, dreams or fantasies? Based on the real life? Do have a lot of things that I’m asking in which me myself cannot answer on my own. Everything is just so confusing, complicated, frustrating, disappointing and many other things that would make you wish things that you would never hope for.. I’m searching for security and assurance about myself, the thing is I expected it from someone else. Everything is just so uncertain. Once someone said in a movie “in life be ready to be surprised”, but what if we don’t want to? What if we’re not ready for some other kinds of surprise? What if there’s just something that you can do about everything? What if there is just.. nothing you can do. You just gotta let fate surround you and stick your heart and mind to reality.. everything is just so complicated..
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